AllisonJackson's Guestbook

Am I good enough? Am I pretty enough? Am I smart enough? Am I thin enough? Am I enough? Those are questions that I ask my self everyday because I wanna be good enough. Because I come to school and I see the groups of kids that hangout together, you have your jocks and your popular kids and the artistic kids or the musical kids, but what am I? Am I just another face in these hallways among the other rejects. Among the kids who feel like they don't belong.

 

Am I the only person in the entire school who feels like they have a massive weight upon their shoulders everyday? Am I the only who cakes their face with makeup to cover up their gross and disgusting natural beauty. Am I the only one who wear baggy clothes because I don't have a thin waist and nobody wants to see that. Because based on popular opinion if a girl doesn't wear size zero skinny jeans or have a perfectly straight smile or beautiful luscious hair then then she's not beautiful.

I wake up every morning and look in the mirror and think to myself "wow, I look gross." I put on a pair of jeans, look in the mirror and say "wow. I'm incredibly fat." I hate the way I look, I hate the way I talk. I hate the way I walk and breathe and act. I hate that I constantly compare myself to every girl at this school saying "I wish I was as skinny as her," or "I wish I had that perfect smile," or "I wish I had her beautiful hair.". I wish I was good enough. I wish I was worth something. I wish I was beautiful.

Am I good enough? Am I pretty enough? Am I smart enough? Am I thin enough? Am I enough? The answer, is yes. Yes you are good enough, Yes you are pretty enough. Yes you are smart enough. Yes your are enough. You are beautiful. No matter what anyone says, or thinks or acts. You can wear whatever you want, you can put on makeup or keep it off, your still beautiful. You can show off that messy frizzy hair and not care about what people say because it is beautiful and it is natural. You can walk into school with your head held high and talk to whoever you want because society shouldn't effect how you live your live. You should be the one to choose who you wanna be, not the opinions of people around you.

So for the last time. I am asking. Am I enough?

Thank you

There's a girl in the corner, just turned 18
Ever since she was little it was always her dream
To marry a man who would treat her just right
With loving best friends for the rest of her life

 

But as she grew up, her friends all grew cold
So she twisted her life just to fit in their mould
Now her biggest fear is that she'll be rejected
She'll try anything to feel loved and accepted

She posts photos on Instagram, hoping that now
Her body attracts what her heart can't somehow
Slowly turning herself into something she's not
Desperate for anyone to think that she's hot

But the love that she craves has never come through
And the dreams she once held just haven't come true
If you ask how she is, she'll say that she's fine
She disguises it well but she's dying inside

She tried parties and drinking, just a little to start
Anything to fill that big hole in her heart
Now she's sleeping around, hoping love will be found
But her heart lies empty from the sorrows she's drowned

'Cause deep down she knows that she is not bold
She puts on her fake smile while she bleeds
On the outside she'll build so her life will seem filled
But on the inside she's never complete

There's a boy on the streets, acting all rough
Bullying others just to make him feel tough
He puts on a show so his ego will grow
Puts everyone down to try and raise himself up

People assume that he's always been cold
It seems like there's nothing that could tame his soul
On the outside he's callous, with a heart made of steel
But inside he's been broken by the pain that he feels

He's the abuser at school, but at home he's abused
With a dad always drunk and a mum always bruised
He's lost count of the times that he's gone to bed crying
He's never found peace and he's got tired of trying

Now he's lost all his hope and his trust has worn thin
So he hurts others first before they can hurt him
He takes out his pain on the kids at his school
While desperate for someone to think that he's cool

He buries it deep so the world never sees
All the heartache and heartbreak brings his heart straight to its knees
He fights with his friends while he wrestles with doubt
Feels he's been dealt bad hand, so he's dealing it out

But down deep he knows that he is not bold
He puts on his fake smile while he bleeds
On the outside he'll build so his life will seem filled
But on the inside he's never complete

Though we try not to show it, and all try to fix it
In our hearts we're all broken but no one admits it
They say that it's what's on the inside that counts
We all put on a brave face but on the inside we doubt

We're all scared of the world, we don't know what we're facing
We're longing for something but don't know what we're chasing
Though we face the same things that burden and break us
We all look to each other for some feeling of status

We want people to view us, to follow and like
To favourite our looks and subscribe to our life
We treat retweets like morphine to cover the hurt
Of our friendless existence when our phone doesn't work

We're all grasping at glory and craving acclaim
It's the fuel in our tank, it's the drug in our veins
And soon as it's gone, our heart hits the floor
And we run to self-pity 'til our egos find more

Everyone out there keeps searching around
Just to find the right pill to pick them up when they're down
And we try our best, but we fail our own test
We pretend that we're swimming while we drown

Because deep down we all know that we are not bold
We put on our fake smiles while we bleed
On the outside we build so our lives will seem filled
But on the inside we're never complete

So what is the answer? What is the cure?
What's the solution to being so insecure?
Can sex, drugs and money fulfill all your dreams?
Or a 7-step process restore self-esteem?

Well if we're all here by chance, and there's no higher power
Then live life to the full or just waste every hour
If it makes you feel good, then do all the more
And find satisfaction in what you adore

Just eat, drink, sleep, party, have fun then die
'Cause what does it matter what you do to feel high?
If you only live once, then do what you choose
And we're all here by chance so you really can't lose

But the problem with that: it's ignorant lies
It's the best people offer but never satisfies
It's like try'n to fill a bucket right up to the top
While it's leaking out more than you ever could stop

Whatever the world can produce as the answer
Just eats us away like an emotional cancer
There's nothing inside you to enlighten your soul
You can't do a thing to make you feel whole

So what if we've been looking in all the wrong places
Trying to find gratification to fill our hearts' spaces?
What if the real answer isn't something conceived?
Isn't not dreamt up by people, but something received?

See while everyone's try'n to find a method that's greater
True help can only come from our Creator
Whether you believe doesn't change what is true
All I can do is present this to you:

We try to show our good and cover our bad
Just show the happy but never the sad
But God isn't fooled; He sees under your mask
He knows all your thoughts and your unending task

That search for acceptance, to keep and preserve it
But there's nothing good in us to ever deserve it
But though I am sinful and stood as God's foe
Because He is good, He stood up and said, "No"

"I won't leave you alone, though you deserve Hell
I'll love you and free you from your prison cell
I'll come as a man and I'll die in your place
Taking your sin and giving you grace"

"But I won't stay dead, I'll rise from the grave
I'll show I'm alive and I'm willing to save
Now your time on earth may be still filled with strife
But repent and believe, and I'll give you life"

So though I am wretched and hopeless alone
God chose to love me and and make me His own
Now I'm alive when once I was dead
So I'm simply a beggar showing where to find bread

See the trouble we face has been true from the start
The heart of our problem is the problem of our heart
We're all full of flaws, full of sin, full of vice
Our hearts need transforming and cleansing by Christ

It's not superficial touch-ups, but supernatural change
It gives new breath to my lungs, new life to my veins
Now whatever I go through, I don't need a fake smile
Because I'm forgiven, adopted, and loved as God's child

It's not just my answer that suits me the best
Not a just nice lifestyle, valid as all the rest
No, it's the Way, and the Truth, and the Life
The reason my smile isn't fake is Christ

Me wuvs juuuuuuuuuuu

Fake Friends - Never ask for food..🍩
👭Real Friends - Are the reason you have NO food!🍜
👥Fake Friends - Call your parents Mr. / Mrs.
👭Real Friends - Call your parents Dad / Mom
👥Fake Friends - Never have seen you cry..😢
👭Real Friends - Cry with you😭
👥Fake Friends - Borrow your stuff for a few days, then give it back
👭Real Friends - Keep your stuff so long, they forget it's yours!🎒
👥Fake Friends - Know a few things about you..💭
👭Real Friends - Could write a book about you📚
👥Fake Friends - Would knock on your front door..🏡
👭Real Friends - Walk right in and say
"I'm home!"🙋
👥Fake Friends - Will help you up when you fall over🎭
👭Real Friends - Will jump on top of you and shout "dog pile!"🙌
👥Fake Friends - Are around for a while..🚶
👭Real Friends - Are for life💙
👥Fake Friends - Say "like you" in a joking manner😄
👭Real Friends - say "I like you" and they mean it💚
👥Fake Friends - will read this.📃
👭Real Friends - will share this📑 😊 Send itto 6 real friends..send it to me if I am one!!!
?Who are the 18 Friends u cant forget
in ur life ever?
Msg only to those 18 just like i did.
Lets see how many msgs u get back!
Start sending,
Be honest!
Only 18
I value u.

 

1: blink 10 times

2: send to
20 friends without blink😳

3: Now blink😑

Did you cry?

Hope you forever stay a queen ♡